Hyper-independence, the lone-wolf finding her pack.
The power of the ask and how community fuels a dream.
Hyper-independence is bred into me. I’m used to figuring things out on my own. It’s a beautifully clumsy gift, like taking a chance on general admission and confidently walking through the VIP. You might get stopped by security a few times, have to pick yourself up and return to the nosebleeds, but every so often, something magical happens, and you find yourself in VIP, sitting in the pew at St. Ann and the Holy Trinity behind Seven at André 3000's New Blue Sun live, hearing him blow flutes and speak blessings in a made-up language.
Reflections on My Journey
Being independent is not a bad thing. As a multidimensional being, it is one of my many sides. In many ways, I think about the lone wolf and how we often only see one side of her story. It's easy to picture her fate as endlessly wandering through dense forests and treacherous mountains alone, seen as vicious and driven solely by hunger.
But the lone wolf is always on the move toward something more meaningful. She seeks the promise of lush rangeland and a new pack that aligns with her philosophies of life (so to speak, lol). She’s scanning the horizon for signs of life, ready to perform the ritual dance into the abundance that lay ahead.
The world is a treacherous place. I can imagine 18-year-old me looking at 38-year-old me right now, like, “Dude, you’ve really been doing your damn thing!” That younger me was convinced that taking the traditional route of getting a degree and becoming a career woman would afford me comfort and sustainability—maybe even a house, all the things that would make my mother proud (something I’ve since learned may never happen 😭).
I know 18-year-old me would be incredibly impressed and inspired by the life I’ve created for myself. At that time, she could never have imagined traveling internationally or even being considered an artist. She didn’t know that communities existed that would allow me to take up so much space and find opportunities. She never imagined that being a writer would transform into making books and zines as pieces of knowledge, interaction, and vehicles for healing. She never imagined becoming a healer and studying herbalism for seven years, and now Reiki.
More than anything, this year I’ve learned the incredible outcomes of trusting the process and the journey. Learning that on that journey, it’s okay to ask for help. In my practice as a poet and book maker, acknowledging this need has helped me gain invaluable resources and support. Growing up, I was conditioned to believe that asking for help meant I was falling short. I think many of us have held this belief.
Building a Community
Having the will to ask and receive takes an openness to learn, self-awareness, and access to or the desire to build a trusting foundation. It’s putting aside doubt and shame to move out of isolation and into the collective wisdom and experiences of others.
This year, finding this strength has connected me to opportunities and support in ways I never imagined. I launched my independent publishing entity, Grace Issues, in the spring, and exhibited at our first fairs in May at the Black Zine and June at the Schomburg Literary Festival. Exhibiting at these fairs would not have been such a success without the tremendous support from my community of friends who committed to supporting and having their work displayed with Grace Issues.
While preparing for the fair, I was also working on my first Artist Book Commission to create a book on the history of the Anguilla Prison Massacre, which took place in Georgia in 1947. The book was a culmination of 15 years of research by the incredible Mariame Kaba and an important opportunity to shine light on a piece of Georgia’s history (my home state) that is still relevant to how the state’s prison labor system functions today. So much of this project came together thanks to recommendations from my contacts in the book arts community. I’m tremendously happy with how the book came together. In total, I designed and produced 150 books, with money raised from book sales supporting the Survived + Punished Commissary Fund, which supports incarcerated survivors of gender-based violence through sustained commissary support, care packages, visitation, and communication.
I’m also happy to share that I published "Plant Realm 001," the chapbook I started working on early in 2023. The book turned out to be a beautiful culmination of poetry, collaged photography, and reflections on Black Feminist ecology. There are currently only 40 editions, and it’s available at Book Shop / Book Shop in Peekskill, NY, and by request if you’re interested.
Looking Ahead
As I continue to grow Grace Issues, I’ve realized that I cannot do it alone. The support from my community has been invaluable, and now, I’m asking for your help to take this journey even further. I’ve launched a GoFundMe campaign with the goal of raising $15,000 to support the production of books and sustain my living expenses. These funds will be crucial in enabling me to continue my work and keep pushing boundaries in the publishing industry.
For those who have already supported me, THANK YOU! I see you. It makes my heart so full to see people from my communities—from my days at Skirt! Magazine in 2008 (thank y’all so much, omg!!!) and many other past endeavors—showing that you still believe in me.
This is a tremendous effort, but I know it can be done. Your support, whether through a donation or by sharing this campaign, is crucial for sustaining this important work. No donation is too small, and every bit helps. I am deeply grateful for your support and excited to keep you updated on this journey! I look forward to sharing more great news as things progress.
TOOLKIT
Also if you cannot support with a monetary donation please share my campaign. I’ve developed this toolkit with links to images that can be used to spread the word via IG, Twitter and LinkedIn.
To learn more about me and to support my GoFundMe campaign, please visit my campaign.